whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
