For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
