I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
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I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
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And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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