i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
im six kinds of drunk right now
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
