im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
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12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
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I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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