i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
