We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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