New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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