Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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