I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
