Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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