Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
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Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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