I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
