oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
