I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
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