Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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