is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize