i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just want to make out with him forever
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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