Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize