Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"

(616): View more from Michigan

He did it well too

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(828): View more from North Carolina

I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much

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(248): View more from Michigan

If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.

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(416): View more from Toronto

Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career

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(706): View more from Georgia

My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday

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(509): View more from Washington

He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.

(425): View more from Washington

Is that even possible?

(509): View more from Washington

I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins

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(269): View more from Michigan

Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now

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(940): View more from Texas

I fuckin love you!

(214): View more from Texas

I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.

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