Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
