Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
FUCK WHALES
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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