Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
