Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
