When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Semen is not good for contacts.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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