There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
