i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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