You don't have asthma, your pregnant
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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