My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
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