how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
