This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
