Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
