i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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