he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
