last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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