Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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