There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
