The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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