yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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