Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
