i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Randomize
