Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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