the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize