Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
