She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
God, I missed his penis.
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