dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
