Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
only if we run a train.
done.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
