Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
