Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
