I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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