WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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