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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
