Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death