He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow