i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
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oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
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I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.