ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky