Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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