There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
