last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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