id be glad to
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
