i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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