You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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