$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
