He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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