They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
