I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
