i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
