Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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