It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She bit a glass in half.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
