with your own penis?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
