Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
