I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
